A child in a restaurant. A few months old crying little one or a loud few years old fellow who runs around and brings others close to a heart condition. Or maybe a charming babbling little one or an energetic, friendly 4-year old? Well, it depends on your approach… especially in a restaurant.

A lot has changed over last few years. There’s more and more restaurants, we go out more often than before (thank God!!!), we eat out, and only 70-year old grandmas still consider restaurant food inferior to home food. Because it’s possible to eat out and keep it healthy, nutritious and tasty. Sometimes, after many years we discover that duck made by your mom or grandma is nothing compared to the one eaten in a restaurant. Along with the rising popularity of restaurants and eating out in general, children in restaurants are becoming a common sight, like in Spain, Italy or the UK. These changes mainly occur in big cities, in smaller ones the idea of eating out being trendy is still kind of weird (in Warsaw everyone knows what’s trendy for lunch right now! :)), same goes for visiting the restaurant with a child. “I’ve been working here for 5 years and never seen anybody come with a child younger than 3!” – that’s what we heard in a not so small Polish city (more than 200 000 citizens!) a while ago.

 

child in a restaurant, infant in a restaurant, R20, Warsaw

Maks and his dad during one of their first days out together – R20, Warsaw

 

Regardless of the changing times, the child in a restaurant is still a controversial topic, especially for people not having one and for the service. That’s where such opinions come from:

In my opinion, visiting the restaurant with little children is an outrage. I know that young parents who can’t leave their children alone, also want to go out but please: a child screaming, or even worse, running around the restaurant like a dog without a leash and disturbing everybody, really EVERYBODY for an hour or so is worse than Egyptian plagues. And if you try to say something to the little brat or his parents, you’ll get yourself in trouble.

 

The other thing is the policy of restaurants aimed to eliminate noisy kids. Why are these childless people so mean? Can’t they understand or maybe they just don’t like kids? What kind of restaurant puts a note on the door with a warning that noisy and naughty kids will not be accepted??? That’s so mean!!! Discrimination!!! No, it’s the parents to blame! Because you have to learn how to go to a restaurant with a child and as you can see it’s not the kind of activity that everybody’s good at! What to do and what is an absolute no no if you don’t want to become a persona non grata in a restaurant just because you pay a visit with a child? Just follow these few rules that we came up with and practised over last few years. We visited more than 200 restaurants with Maks – elegant ones, family-oriented, good and bad in a few dozen cities all over the world. Only once (!) someone told us/him that he’s acting inappropriate. We’re in the right position to write “Children’s restaurant savoir-vivre” guides 🙂

 

child in a restaurant, infant in a restaurant, Jurata, Hotel Bryza

Jurata and 8-month old Maks

 

 

Some advice to make it easier for you to succeed and not drive crazy everyone around:

 

1)      Choose the place wisely

The best places for an 8+ month old child (that moves, wants to play and does not want to sit down) are child-friendly places. That’s an easy guess. If a children’s corner with toys is present, the child and the parents are happy. It’s also easy to guess that going to such restaurants all the time may get boring since there’s not always a lot to choose from. And finding such a spot on a trip might be difficult. When it comes to “normal” restaurants, try to avoid the elegant ones that serve meals for two at a few-hundred zloty or more, because even if the child acts nice, people may have objections cause they paid a lot of money for good food and a nice evening. Try to avoid tiny places and crowded ones if you know that your child won’t sit down and will run around between the waitresses legs getting in life-threatening situations. If you want to visit a fine restaurant abroad (e.g. during a weekend in Madrid or Florence), make sure that you can come with a child and on the spot, try to make the child “invisible” to others. Don’t worry, I’m not talking about hiding it under the blanket in the pram or gagging. Make it busy with something that will keep him occupied, calm and quiet, even if it means playing on a tablet for 1.5 hours. You don’t get something for nothing.

 

2)       Right time for a child

It’s pretty much the same as with travelling with a child. If your child is not from these who can fall asleep anywhere and anytime, don’t go to a restaurant when it’s tired and grumpy. I hate listening to my child grumbling, let alone to other’s children! How to minimise the threat? Teach the child from the start. Our Maks fell slept in a tapas bar at the age of 2 and a half, fell asleep in a highlander’s inn listening to a live band playing at the age of 1 and a half, slept in Krabi, Thailand during a party and slept through an evening in Mielżynski when he was just few months old while his parents enjoyed the evening with friends. Some will say: how mean of the parents! The kid should sleep in his bed at a certain time! I’ll remind you of that next time you can’t go out after 7 pm cause the child is asleep and no grandma or nanny is available.

 

child in the restaurant, high chair

going out with your mate is always a good idea!

 

3)       Make sure

If you know that your child will need a high chair or a changing table, make sure that the restaurant you’re going to is appropriately equipped. If you find the high chair essential – book it along with the table since most of the restaurants only have a few. Remember about the changing accessories and some spare diapers. If the restaurant you’re going to does not offer a baby changing table, don’t worry. Take your husband with you and change the baby “midair” or in a pram. Remember to do it in the bathroom/outside since nobody wants to see it even if you think child’s pee is not smelly at all.

 

 

4)       Be prepared and make your child busy

Essential thing. Children’s friendly restaurants have toys, crayons and other attractions. In others you can sometimes find something – usually broken crayons 🙂 Take a few toys with you. Toys that the child won’t spread all over the restaurant and that are not too intrusive. Books are better than clay. Czuczu puzzle are great for older ones. The little ones should do fine with chew toys and rattles but not too loud ones!!! (who likes loud toys??? I hate it!! I always get mad when Maks gets a toy that makes sounds!).

When it comes to older kids, think about a smartphone or a tablet as a last resort. A cartoon or iPad puzzle can be a great remedy for a sudden boredom attack. It may save your dinner!

Little ones parents should not forget about a jar, a bib and some wet wipes!

child in a restaurant, 2-year old in a restaurant

last resort – almost 2-year old Maks in Dubai

 

5)      Check the menu

Children’s menu. The little ones are not a problem. Breast or bottled milk, then a heated jar and that’s it! What when the kid gets older? What should you give him to eat? Is there anything for him? A short children’s menus are getting more and more popular. They’re similar everywhere and generally dull: tomato pasta, tomato soup, chicken soup, chicken nuggets with French fries, pancakes. It’s dull but what can you do? Most children like at least one of the abovementioned meals.

 

If you see that there is nothing on the menu that your child will like (it rarely happens unless you have a really picky creature), feed him at home, and order a dessert/ice cream on the spot. Peace and quietness at the table guaranteed! 🙂 Oh, one more thing! Don’t stick to the belief that Mary won’t eat it cause Mary only eats cucumber soup and minced meat steaks from grandma Helenka. Let Mary try some other things, let the child learn new flavours. That’s how our child got to like sushi and Thai chicken satay! Why let him try? Because if you want to travel with your child, at least for one trip to Greece or Spain a year, you won’t be able to provide grandma Helenka’s cucumber soup and minced meat steaks there. Therefore it’s wise to open the child for new types of food. Before Maks, we once spent holidays with a 3-year old who kept eating French fries, crisps and drinking Cola for the whole week. He didn’t like anything else… I wonder why? 🙂

 

Sometimes, if there’s nothing on the menu that your child will like, or if the salmon that your child is into costs PLN 60 and you know it’s not an appropriate dish for a 3-year old, you can try asking the kitchen to prepare something off the menu for your little one. Preparing a tomato pasta shouldn’t be a problem in a good restaurant. Don’t be afraid to ask!

Lately my friend “brought” an advanced version of children’s menu from a children’s friendly hotel in Portugal. Not only had they meals for few-year olds but also a menu with meals classified according to little ones age! Wow! I want that!

dziecko w restauracji, niemowlę w restauracji, menu dziecięce

you’re 8 months old, you can choose for yourself

 

6)      Don’t let your child do whatever he wants and think about others

Never forget that you’re in a public space. Nobody wants to listen to a crying child (take him for a walk, calm him down, give him you breast, read a fairytale, whatever!), nobody wants children running around their plates all the time (unless it’s a children’s friendly restaurant and the proportions of customers over and under 10 are pretty much equal). Nobody wants to see your child throwing things from the tables and disturbing them while they eat. Keep an eye on him. If he wants to talk to somebody, let him do it, but keep in mind that not everybody considers your child an eighth wonder.

If you want your child to finish his meal, pay attention, but don’t engage the whole restaurant in the process. Don’t follow him with the plate, don’t force it. That’s what caused one of the restaurants we mentioned to put the “anti-child” note on the door. The mother fed her running daughter so intensively that she finally threw up in the middle of the place full of people. Now, don’t you think there’s a reason why children and their parents are not always welcome in restaurants???

child in a restaurant, infant in a restaurant

sitting on father’s laps is always a good idea

 

7)      Don’t act like a “mommy”

Regardless of the age of your child, remember that you’re in a restaurant. It may be the first time you left home after childbirth, but you’re still a human being, not only John’s mother. Don’t torture others with babytalks and word diminishing, don’t smell your child’s bottom at the table, don’t put the diaper by your plate. It’s not charming. Especially in the restaurant!

If you breastfeed your child, you can do it in the restaurant, I did it many times, but don’t show your tits to everybody. Take a diaper, wear a sweater with a zipper, cover up.

 

8)      Don’t switch to holy cow mode if somebody objects to what your child does

If you’re going out with a child to a public space and let him play around, be prepared to hear people complaining about it. Don’t get mad, angry or offended. The kid is also a person, even though he’s small. He cannot do anything he wants, disturb others, prevent staff from working properly or put himself in danger by running around waiters carrying hot plates and cups with hot liquids. Sometimes people object in order to keep your child safe. Remember that. Listen to them, consider it and don’t get tensed about it. Don’t act like a holy cow and don’t be a bad example for your child.

child in a restaurant, infant in a restaurant

Maks and his companion – Gozo 2013

 

Phew, that’s a lot! Why write it? Because there’s quite a lot of people who would LIKE to go to restaurants with their children. Let’s keep the negative opinions about children in restaurants at its lowest and the opinion on parents at best! Let’s not make restaurant owners and waiters lives difficult. They also care about working without crying/running children around! Would you like that in your office? Don’t think so.

 

PS. Contrary to most entries, the majority of the images was taken with a phone – that’s how mother does it in a restaurant 🙂